I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
