chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
