i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize