I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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