Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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