this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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