if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize