I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
