First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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