im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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