I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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