It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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