you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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