I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
