After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
