I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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