I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
