Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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