What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
