her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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