Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
