Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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