Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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