We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
