I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
