U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
