Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
