Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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