That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
