how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
