last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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