i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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