you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
