There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
