I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
