ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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