so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
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I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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