there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
