Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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