we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
