we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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