Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
