I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
