im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
