finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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