Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
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Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
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6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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