I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
