So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
