I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
