You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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