you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize