the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize