At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize