Can Purell be used as lube?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
