we're blogging at a bar
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
