If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
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I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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