how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
