No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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