i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
