i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
