i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
