I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
