Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
